Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
