Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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