you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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