I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
