Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
