Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
