Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I smell like Dick and happiness
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