yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
