i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
