biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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