WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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