Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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