you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
