I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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