we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
