Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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