I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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