Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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