Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
