I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
