well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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