and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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