Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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