I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
