Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
