The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
