I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
