I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
