i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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