I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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