is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
