u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
