Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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