too bad you live with your parents still
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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