you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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