are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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