haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
