I cockslap morals
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
