Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
