Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
