After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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