porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
