I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
