While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize