I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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