We're like a lot better than the average bears
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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