so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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