You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize