So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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