Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
