You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize