so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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