i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
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My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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