I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
