This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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