no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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