Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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