I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
