How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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