you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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